Please, please, come in! Have a seat and make yourself at home. Just push the cats and dogs off of the couch, ignore the laundry piled up in the corner, and whatever you do, don’t open the door to that coat closet- the ensuing avalanche would bury us all.
I’m very excited to have you here, but I must admit, I am a bit nervous too. This blog tends to steer clear of recipes and other topics that need planning and accurate reporting. It requires effort and I am generally opposed to that.
Typically, this blog is a chronicle of my massive life transformation. After eating fast food and processed crap for most of my life, I then made matters worse by trying to lose weight using the meat and cheese heavy Atkins diet.
Today you are joining me on my 210th day of living the life of an herbivore. Originally the change was for health reasons, but after several weeks of living without meat, dairy, and eggs I felt compelled to make the additional leap to living the vegan lifestyle by omitting all of the animal products from my life.
Whew! That was some pleasant, albeit one-sided, dinner conversation. You probably worked up quite an appetite listening to all of that, so I am ready to be a good host and offer you some very fresh guacamole. It is so fresh, I’ll be making it right here before your very hungry eyes.
To be fair, Shannon will be doing all the hard work and kitchen magic, because this is her world famous recipe. I’ll just be handling narration and finishing off leftovers when you guys head to the next stop on the VVP Trail.
The first step is to go shopping for the perfect Haas avocados at your favorite produce section or farmers market. Green is good for future guac projects, but if you want to buy and eat in the same day, make sure to select the darker color with more squish in the skin.
In all, you will need:
3- Haas avocados (sure, the other kind works too, but it doesn’t sound as fancy)
1- Ugly tomato (again, any other tomato will work, but it makes me feel like a big man to insult vegetables)
1/4 cup of chopped smoked, sun dried tomatoes (the smoked variety is key)
1/2 of a Purple onion
1/2 of a Lime, juiced
1/4 cup of chopped cilantro
1 Tsp- Garlic salt
Step 1: Do that thing you do to the avocados and keep the yummy part.
Step 2: Chop, chop, chop the sun dried tomatoes into tiny bits.
Step 3: Cut the flesh off of the tomato and set the seed filled middle part aside. Then dice the flesh into tiny little cubes.
Step 4: Chop the cilantro into green flakes that can easily get stuck in your teeth.
Step 5: Dice the purple onion. This would be a good time to watch Old Yeller.
Steps 6 through 11: Take the mashed up avocado flesh and fold in one ingredient at a time: first the lime juice, then sun dried tomatoes, then onion, then fresh tomatoes, then cilantro, then garlic salt. If you go out of order there is a chance that the mixture will burst into flames. You have been warned.
Last Step: After mixing the concoction together, it is time to feed it to your esteemed guests, in this case you good people.
Generally, I am a little long winded here at the ole’ blog, but out of respect for your time and the many Ethicurian dishes still to come, I will now see you to the doors. The door that says ‘go forward’ will take you to the next stop on the VVP trail. The one that says ‘go back’ will return you to the previous stop on your journey. The door that says ‘virtual vegan potluck’ will take you all the way back to the beginning of the dinner party, if you forgot your coat or want to get a refund.
You’re still here? Did you misplace your keys? Oh… you want to stay in touch? It would be my honor to share the remainder of my journey to health with you. You can always visit my Table of Contents to see what the last 210 days have been like, or you could follow the fun on Twitter, or even join the madness on the Facebook Page. In any case, please feel free to stay as long as you like, poking around the site and making yourself at home.
However, I must remind you, DO NOT open the coat closet.