I’ve covered this in detail earlier in the ole’ blog but to recap, after several years of up and down weight loss with Atkins and weight gain with SAD, my family moved to another city. The months following the move were a stressful and exciting period, both conditions that call for a lot of terrible food. Before this, my weight was behaving the way we all want the stock market to work- some sporadic minor losses followed by steady gains. After the move, if my weight had been the stock market there would have been a lot of millionaires running around and popping bottles of champagne. I topped the scale at a shocking 336 pounds.
Today I weigh in at a much more reasonable, although still unacceptable, 261 pounds. The weight loss is easily tracked using old photos and and my ever-changing wardrobe. It is also evident in my ability to move around. Getting out of a chair used to involve a shameful amount of effort. Walking up a flight of stairs to tuck the kids in at night became so difficult, I’d find ways to do my tucking from the ground floor by blowing kisses or via text message.
Walking through a crowd was humiliating too. The normal personal space that people create when milling around was only half of what I needed to slip between them. This meant I got to say excuse me to hundreds of people for being larger than normal and needing them to move because of that. I was already a little bit of a socially awkward penguin before I’d super sized myself. Being a socially awkward walrus was MUCH more painful.
Obviously, in 70-80 pounds, I will be very pleased with my size, shape, and health. However, after a year of pushing through cravings, desires, and a very manipulative inner voice, I am pleased with my progress. It is a huge relief to be able to run up and down the steps in my house, practically hop out of chairs with seemingly no effort, and gracefully (by comparison) navigate crowds of people. I am also enjoying the new clothes and the kilojoules of extra energy pumping through my body now.
I enjoy backpacking and used to do it a lot more when I was younger/smaller. I would start week-long treks with a pack weighing close to 50 pounds. It was a huge weight to struggle into each morning and at the end of each day of hiking, taking it off felt like the weight of the entire world was lifted from my shoulders. I could float around the campsite enjoying that sensation of relief for hours.
I can’t imagine shouldering THREE of those backpacks worth of fat, and yet I was on that depressing hike for a long time. Sure, last Cinco de Mayo, I wanted to take all three backpacks off at once and enjoy the instant relief that I felt at the end of a day of hiking. Since I couldn’t do that, I started the slow but sure process of taking the three backpacks off one pound at a time. I have more than one and a half of them off so far, and the anticipation of slipping out from under the rest tastes much better than the deadly Standard American Diet or its demented cousin, the Atkins diet. I’ll be prancing around the campsite in no time!