It has been with me for about two years and in that time seen a harrowing rise and fall and rise and fall in my ability to squash it when I stand on it. The failures and triumphs are announced in bright blue old-school digital clock numbers, right down to the tenth of a pound. We know each other very well after all this time. We can speak volumes when we simply look at one another. In fact we know each other so well that around a year ago, entire months would go by without even a single weighing. I could see just by looking across the bathroom that my scale wasn’t going to have good news so I would avoid nasty confrontations. Frankly, there were times that felt like I hardly knew my scale anymore. The void that formed between us was the elephant in the room that neither of us was willing to acknowledge. And I was that elephant.
It is said that time heals all wounds, and in many cases this is true. On May 5th, (Cinco de Mayo de 2011) when everyone else was having nachos and beer, I had fajitas minus almost everything except the meat and cheese. My low carb dieting began and I had to take the first step in rebuilding the broken relationship that my scale and I clung to. Unfortunately, I was so large at the time I couldn’t fit into the little bathroom closet where the scale was kept so I had to use my toe to pull it out into the open.
For the first month our relationship rebuilding went through a honeymoon phase. We got together once a day and talked about where we had been and where we thought we were going next. The pounds dropped so quickly at first that it was nothing but smiles and encouraging blue alarm clock numbers. Eventually, the good times had to end and the forgotten problems had to be unearthed and resolved. It was a rocky period, but we stuck together knowing that working it out was in both of our best interests.
Large people chuckle when we hear small people talk about wanting to lose three pounds. We lose three pounds in a day. Then we gain four. Then we lose nothing for three days and then we lose eight. When you have the equivalent mass of another human attached to your body, the liquid you take in and give off, the food that you take in and give off, can fluctuate a great deal. This is exactly why I am not investing in a new scale.
People that own older, cheaper scales are at a distinct advantage when loosing weight. Days that show no progress, or worse, weight GAIN, can easily be written off to the poorly calibrated piece of junk that you have been meaning to replace. It is a wonder that the children haven’t injured themselves on the antiquated eye sore. Conversely, on days when you are shocked at the dramatic weight loss, you can congratulate yourself for holding on to what will assuredly one day be a family heirloom that the great, great grand-kids can argue over. It seems that such a finely tuned instrument should be given to science so they can marvel at its precision and accuracy.
These days, I stroll into the small bathroom closet with lots of room on all sides. I am no small man by any stretch of the imagination, but with today’s weigh-in at 270 pounds, I am a much healthier man than I was. That is 50 pounds in six and a half months lost with an uber low carb diet, and 16 pounds in 20 days lost with a plant based, mostly local raw, lifestyle. My scale and I look forward to reporting continued weight loss over the months to come, and I am happy to say that the space-aged piece of advanced technology that I keep in my bathroom closet is one of the finest pieces of precision measurement devices on Earth. When they tell me it is needed to help save the human race from invading alien robots, it will be very, very hard for me to let it go. Love can make you do crazy things.